A client of mine recently had a baby, and during one of our calls she told me something I haven’t been able to stop thinking about. She was sitting there breastfeeding her newborn, and instead of soaking in that moment, her brain was busy running through her business. She wanted to know how to be more present, and when I reflected back that it sounded like she just wanted her head and her feet in the same place, she lit up and said, “Yes, oh my god, yes, that’s all I want right now.”

Once I started noticing it, I heard it everywhere. Another client told me that yes, of course she wants to increase her revenue, get her systems in place, and improve her client experience, but the number one thing she truly wants is to be present with her kids, and the money is simply the way she gets there. These are different women with different businesses, and they’re all telling me the same story in different words.

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Is Time Really the Greatest Luxury in Life?

We’ve all heard the line that time is the greatest luxury in life, and while I kind of agree, I think we’ve been saying it wrong. Time on its own isn’t the luxury, because I’ve watched so many of my clients finally get the time in their calendars. They have the Fridays off and the four-day workweek, and yet the mental load still follows them right into those days, and nothing about that feels luxurious.

For years we were told to find balance, and then we collectively agreed, thank goodness, that balance isn’t realistic. So it became work-life integration, and then it became time freedom, and I’ll own that time freedom is all over my own website. Here’s my hot take, though: I don’t think women ever actually wanted balance, integration, or time freedom in the first place. I think we kept rejecting each of them because none of them gave us the thing we were really after, which was being fully there for our lives.

When you have time without presence, you’re half there all day long. You’re folding laundry during a client call, checking Slack at the dinner table, and letting everything bleed into everything else so that your whole brain never lands anywhere.

What Does It Mean to Be Present?

Being present means having your full attention in the place where your body already is, so your head and your feet are in the same place. It has less to do with how much free time you have and more to do with whether your mind is actually available for the moment you’re in. Presence is what turns time off into time you can genuinely enjoy.

Why Is It So Hard to Be Present?

If all of us want this so badly, why is it so hard? In my experience, it comes down to two things working together, which are guilt and the way our brains handle unfinished business.

Guilt Is the Thief of Presence

I worked with a past client whose world was ruled by guilt for a long time. She felt guilty when she was at work, and then she felt guilty when she wasn’t at work, and the back and forth never stopped. You’re at your kid’s game thinking about the email you didn’t send, and then you’re at your desk feeling guilty that you’re not with your kids. When guilt runs in both directions, nobody wins, because you end up missing your life and your business at the same time.

You can’t be fully present somewhere you secretly believe you shouldn’t be. That’s why I’ve come to believe that part of presence is actually permission, which means deciding on purpose that you’re allowed to turn your brain off one thing so you can give yourself to another.

What Your Brain Is Doing With Unfinished Work

This isn’t me being dramatic, because there’s research behind it. Researcher Sophie Leroy studies something she calls attention residue, and her work shows that you need to actually stop thinking about one task before you can fully show up for the next one. When something is left unfinished, part of your attention stays stuck on it, and the more emotional or unresolved that first thing is, the more of your attention stays behind. So when you walk into a client call after a hard morning with your kids, or sit down to dinner with an inbox full of open loops, part of you literally isn’t there, and that has nothing to do with willpower.

I see this in my own life all the time, especially with my husband Mark and me in the middle of our home renovation. I’ll actually say to him now, “I didn’t hear a word you just said. I was physically here with you, but I wasn’t present.” Being able to name it, close the loop on whatever my brain was chewing on, and then ask him to repeat the question has changed how we connect.

How to Be More Present at the End of Your Workday

There are days when I will literally tell myself in my head that it’s time to take off my work hat and put on my personal life hat. You can laugh, but I’m dead serious, because if I skip that moment I carry the unfinished workday home with me and end up only half there with Mark. Here’s the simple practice I use myself and teach my clients:

1. Before you move from your business into your personal life, take two minutes to write down every loop that’s still open in your head.
2. Beside each open item, note when you’ll come back to it, so your brain knows it has a home and can stop holding onto it.
3. Rewrite your to-do list and plan tomorrow before you close your laptop, so you never sit down in the morning wondering what to work on.
4. Stop asking your brain to remember everything, because your mental load is already too high to carry that as well.
5. Take off your work hat and put on your personal life hat, saying it in your head if that helps, and I promise I won’t tell anyone.
6. Ask yourself whether your head and your feet are in the same place right now, and if guilt shows up, get curious about why and write down whatever you need to get off your mind.

Building a Business That Lets You Be Present

Closing your loops at the end of the day is powerful, but presence gets so much easier when your business is built to support it. As a business coach for female entrepreneurs, I’ve seen that the women who struggle most to switch off are usually carrying every decision alone and relying on themselves to keep their marketing moving.

That’s exactly why I built The F-YES Mastermind. It’s for women whose businesses are working and who are ready to grow, but who refuse to trade their presence to reach that next level. Together we build the systems that let your loops actually close, we get your marketing running on repeat so taking days off doesn’t feel scary, and you get a room full of women so you’re no longer carrying every decision by yourself.

If you join before November 13, you’ll also receive $1,000 in bonus 1:1 coaching with me and a kickoff call this fall where we build out your full Pyramid of Potential, so you’ll know exactly what to focus on while everyone else is still writing New Year’s resolutions.

If you’re earlier in your growth and want group support with a clear structure, The Evolving Entrepreneur may be the better fit, and if you’d rather work with me privately, 1:1 coaching is always an option.

Frequently Asked Questions About How to Be More Present

Why can’t I stop thinking about work when I’m with my family?

Unfinished tasks leave what researchers call attention residue, which keeps part of your mind tied to work even after you’ve walked away from your desk. Guilt makes it stronger, because emotionally charged loops hold onto more of your attention. Closing your open loops before you transition is one of the simplest ways to free your mind up

Is being present the same as having work-life balance?

Not quite, because balance is about how you divide your time, while presence is about where your attention goes during that time. You can have a perfectly balanced calendar and still be mentally at work during every hour you set aside for your life.

How can entrepreneurs be more present with their kids?

Start by creating a clear transition between your workday and your family time, such as writing down open loops and planning tomorrow before you leave your desk. It also helps to give yourself permission to be there, because guilt about what you’re not doing is often what pulls your attention away.

Can I be present and still grow my business?

Yes, and in my experience presence actually makes growth more sustainable. When your systems and marketing run without your constant attention, you can step away fully, and you come back to your business clearer and more focused than when you left.

Your Head and Your Feet in the Same Place

Success looks different for every client I’ve ever worked with, but I believe that for every human being it comes back to the same thing, which is having your head and your feet in the same place. Time is a luxury, but presence is what lets you actually enjoy it. If this episode had you nodding along, send me a DM on Instagram @tracey.jazmin, and I’ll reply with a voice note so we can have a real conversation about whether The F-YES Mastermind is right for you, or about how to be more present in your own business and life.